


DoNotReply

by Nova_Cain



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, SHEITH - Freeform, eventual sheith, i should have been writing an essay, possible one shot but I have more ideas for this just no time to do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 05:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13804317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nova_Cain/pseuds/Nova_Cain
Summary: Shiro can't remember passwords to save his life, and Keith is the one stuck responding to all his password change requests.Hilarity ensues during this weird "Anonymous Circumstantial Pen Pals to Lovers" story.





	DoNotReply

**Author's Note:**

> I have things I should have been writing instead of this - my essay, gifts, a smut scene for someone I promised I'd help with - but the world got this instead. You're welcome.
> 
> Of all the things I thought my first posted Sheith fic would be, I promise this wasn't it.

_Your username or password is incorrect!_

_~Forgot password?      ~Create an account_

 

Shiro rubbed his finger against the mouse, considering his options. He probably had three more tries before his account locked for half a day due to “suspicious activity” (bless the paranoid souls running “the Hive”). Or he could just take ten minutes to reset the password he had forgotten… again. Using an email account he hadn’t opened in a week and didn’t remember the name or password for. Shit.

He grunted and shoved himself away from the table, trying to recall the last time he had signed in. It had been on his phone, using the crappy pre-installed search engine, on private mode so it didn’t save anything. Safar-someshit. He had reset his password then too, and he had no idea what variation of his teddy bear’s name or favorite antagonist he had used for it.

Or had he just kept the randomly generated password they had given him? Yeah, he was _definitely_ screwed.

 _This is what I get for switching between devices and logging out of it everywhere else. And for thinking letting search engines save my passwords for me would be a good idea_.

A few more minutes ticked by as Shiro tried to force himself to remember anything useful, anything that would keep him from having to hack back into cringey old accounts and find a paper trail of emails and logins… _just so he could read some goddamn Star Wars smut he had bookmarked for his day off._ He grit his teeth and pressed the damn option to reset his password.

“Forg3tfula55hole!!” seemed like one he could remember this time.

 

-V-

 

“Keith you got a hit again!” Pidge called, not looking up from the logic puzzle in her hands.

Keith walked over and kicked her rolly chair away from his workspace so he could see the notif pinging on his computer desktop.

_-Blackarmor requesting password reset_

He sat down heavily in his own chair, not surprised in the least. That username was a familiar sight around these parts.

“That is the third time in five days,” Pidge murmured from where she had rematerialized over Keith’s shoulder. She carefully replaced the now-solved puzzle next to his keyboard, and he nudged it back to its usual spot so his hands had room to move about. Keith grunted in response and got to work, pulling up his work email and selecting a randomly generated password to send to the user. Pidge watched silently until he sent it on it’s way, and then smirked.

“He’s either one of the most paranoid users we got, or the most forgetful.”

Keith shrugged. “None of my business. But I’ll tell you what is,” - Keith turned and narrowed his eyes at her, his frustration rearing its head with sudden vigor - “Me sitting here doing bullcrap work. _I’m bored out of my damn skull_ , how much longer before my transfer request is approved?”

Pidge smiled and plopped down in her seat, kicking at the ground to propel herself between desks, content with her life and her side job as the primary oversight manager of Allura’s new hires. “Another week, tops. Just routine paper processing, Keith, happens to everyone.” She snagged some candy from the clear fishbowl resting on Hunk’s desk before rolling back towards her irritated friend. “Besides, Allura likes testing the newbie mettle in her smaller organizations. After this you’ll be out and running with the top dogs in that new piloting program of hers. We mapped it all out, remember?”

Keith _did_ remember. But optimistic words on a flow chart meant less to him than actually having a check for the job he wanted in his hands, ready to be cashed and used. But at least this position was helping him get by, for now.

Even if all he did was help run a fanfiction site.

 

HiddenArchive.org, or “the Hive” as it was fondly called, had exploded with activity at its inception roughly fifteen years ago, and was still going strong with user activity and donations. Even though Allura was now furthering her career with more “credible” pursuits (fighter jets, weapons tech, there were even whispers of a breakthrough with teleportation), HiddenArchive was Allura’s first business venture, and therefore her baby. No one knew exactly what Pidge’s official job was, only that she was one of the most highly regarded scientists on Coran’s payroll and she considered being a Hive manager a relaxing side hobby. And that if you wanted to move anywhere up the Altean Corp. ladder, it was best to be on her good side.

 

“Try to not stress, if you can do that sort of thing,” Pidge said around a hard candy. A crash and muffled swearing reached them from the other side of the office, and Pidge let out a heavy sigh. She swiveled the chair so she could propel herself in the direction of the disgruntled employee before leaving Keith with one last bit of advice: “And I’m not about to tell someone on the clock to slack off and relax with some good smut while you wait for that transfer to go through, but scrolling through the archive and monitoring for any plagiarism and shit _is_ technically in your job description.” She disappeared from view with a wink and a few good kicks, and Keith was left alone to glare at his computer screen.

 

-V-

 

_-Blackarmor requesting password reset_

Keith blinked at his screen, the fork in his hand stalled in its journey to his mouth. His eyes flicked to his computer’s clock, wondering if… yes, it was only three hours later into his shift, ten minutes into what usually would have been his lunch break. And apparently Blackarmor needed another random password. Keith squinted at the username, checking each individual letter to see if this was someone else. When he verified it wasn’t, he squinted harder.

Suspicious.

He shoveled the food into his mouth, hurriedly chewing as his fingers typed out commands so he could lock the account against what must have been a hacker. But right before he pressed ‘enter,’ he found himself pausing. Maybe the user had honestly just forgotten his password…?

 _Who forgets a password after just_ three hours _though?_

 

-V-

 

_I do. Of fucking COURSE I do. What the hell is the fucking oh my god are you SHITTING ME--_

Shiro growled and slammed his fist on the desk in his office, infuriated with himself beyond his own comprehension. His boss had called a few hours ago and asked him to come in to help with an emergency. After putting out the fires -both literal and metaphorical- he decided to stick around and get some additional work done. Now he was taking a much deserved break, and he had thought that logging in on his phone and getting some reading time in would be the easiest thing for him.

Shiro the Unfortunate Optimist, shot down as always by his own shitty memory.

He refreshed the email app on his phone again for the nth time, waiting for his temporary password to come through. It had been five minutes, sure the wifi in this building was crap sometimes but it was never _this_ bad. Maybe the people at the Hive had decided enough was enough, he was never getting his account back, _sorry you forgetful fuck but there’s a limit to how many random passwords we can actually generate because there’s only 26 letters and so many numbers we can feasibly use in a string of twelve characters--_

A new email from donotreply.hiddenarchive.org stopped the downward spiral of Shiro’s thoughts. He clicked it open, eyes hunting for the usual spot where the temp password jumped out in bold text. A few thumb taps later, he was back to the usual “ _Change and confirm password_ ” prompts, and he was stuck.

Again.

_Please enter a password you have NOT previously used._

Apparently, “Anakinsb1g!!d1ck” was something he had used before.

Shiro bit his lip and thought over his list of favorite characters, looking for one he’d be sure to actually remember this time… who else was there, who else, he had used too many variations of Rocket the Racoon for too many other sites, he’d never remember that one.

Finally he latched onto what he knew would be a stronger password and thumbed it in, grinning to himself as he pressed the “confirm” button.

_Please enter a password you have NOT previously used._

When the **fuck** did he ever use “Ak1raxxh0tt13”??

One by one, each “new” clever bastardization of names and places turned out to be an old password, finally remembered by some sick twist of fate that now rendered them completely… fucking…. _useless_.

Shiro was ready use his phone to set a shot put record for Altean Corp. when a new email banner flashed onscreen.

 

From: donotreply.hiddenarchive.org

You haven’t touched the dicks of any characters from Star Trek yet.

 

Shiro laughed for a while - well duh, because he didn’t _watch_ Star Trek - before realizing the implications of the email.

Someone from the Hive was watching his struggle to access his account again, and most likely had been for who knew how long.

Forget the damn phone, Shiro was ready to shot put _himself_ out the window.

 

-V-

 

“What are you grinning about?” Pidge asked as she punched a security code into a console next to the office door. Everyone but Keith and herself had already left for the evening. Keith shook his head but the grin remained on his face. After taking a gamble and sending out that obviously not-computer-generated email to Blackarmor, he had decided to check the user’s account and see if they had seen his cryptic message for the advice it was.

“Fuckoffyapointyearedbastared” was a long, but effective, password. At least for the next two days. Keith figured it’d change again, but the thought of receiving yet another “password change requested” notification didn’t annoy him now.

Hell, he might even be looking forward to it.

Pidge poked him in the arm as he walked out the door, and she quickly finished locking up so she could catch up to him. “Well?”

Keith chuckled and shrugged his jacket on tighter.

“Nothing. Just… thinking about Spock is all.”

**Author's Note:**

> all my works are unbeta'd because I'm a Child of Chaos like that


End file.
